CHECK OUT THESE GREAT SITES!

Today I wanted to share a couple of wonderful sites I have found.  It's always exciting to find a new blog or website that you want to share with everyone.

My book, THE HAPPY WIFE & THE HAPPY MOTHER is being featured as a guest blog topic today at http://imaginationcafeblog.blogspot.com.  Be sure to visit her blog!

Also, FLWBooks  just hit 100,000 Twitter followers this weekend.  Hoping to find a good book to read over the Memorial Day weekend but don't have time to sift through a bookstore?   They've done the looking for you!  They have lists of "books that are so good that they keep you up past your bed time!" If you're looking for great book recommendations? Check out Flashlight Worthy."

Have a great day!

THE BEST GIFT A WIFE CAN GIVE HER HUSBAND

As wives we are asked to wear multiple hats... partner, confidante, friend, lover, organizer, nurturer, sounding block, magician, miracle worker and the list goes on and on.  We are asked to give so much more than it seems we ourselves are given at times.  Our capacity to handle a multitude of problems at once is staggering.  I actually overheard my husband giving advice to a newlywed husband on the eve of his wedding.  He whispered, "Your wife will be able to do so many things that it will make your head spin.  She will instinctively know how to love and nurture your children.  You will watch with amazement and simply be in awe of her... so just love her all the time."  He had no idea that I heard him say those things but I have thought of that comment many times throughout our marriage.  I remember that he thinks that of me those moments when I am the most frustrated with him or am feeling overworked and under-appreciated.  He is in awe of me...  Somehow, those words just give me the strength to push through the frustration and sometimes the tears.

It also makes me wonder where he finds his strength in his times of need.  I hope it is me.  A husband needs his wife to believe in him, even when he doesn't believe in himself... especially when he doesn't believe in himself.  He needs your strength when he can't find his own courage and your support in the event of failure.  He needs your comfort when he is broken and your wisdom when decisions need to be made.  He needs you to build him up, especially in front of your children so that they have confidence in his ability to lead your family.  He needs for you to believe in him, even if you are scared of where you are going.  Trust in him.  Most of all, he needs your unconditional love and the knowledge that you are proud of him regardless of his triumphs or failures.  Your belief in him will give him the courage to be so much more than he knew was possible for himself.

Time is fleeting and once it is gone it is gone forever.  Don't miss an opportunity to tell your husband that you are proud of him or that you genuinely appreciate him and all that he does for your family.  Too often our praise is showered upon people who don't truly have a vested interest in our lives.  Let there be nothing left unsaid or undone between you and know that the best gift you can give your husband is your faith in him.

Guest Blog by: Melanie Marie Shifflett Rider

It's my pleasure today to host a guest blog that celebrates the relationship most of us cherish the most, the one we have with our mother. Presented by XOXO Publishing, a book so touching you will all want to order a copy immediately titled, TEA FOR MOM & ME: AN ANTHOLOGY OF STORIES AND RECIPES ABOUT A MOTHER'S LOVE. A percentage of each book sold will be donated to the Canadian and American Cancer Societies. Enjoy!

Celebrating “Mom”:

“One Day to say Thank You”

“Mom’s” or “Mother’s” a day of their own to Thank them for all their caring and loving in our lives I do believe is not enough for these women who have sacrificed so much in our lives and centuries past and for centuries to come. 

They have given their lives for us to survive and live better for all their compassion and efforts for our futures as their children.

They have fought men and famine and have traveled many miles in their lives.

They have endured husbands and wars and anything that stood in their way of raising children to better all of us.

Being raised Appalachian I have followed my families History and found they suffered quietly and followed their hearts for equality and happiness for thierselves and a better life for the children they raised.

A calm statement “women stand together and persevere in the volcanism’s of life”.

I sometimes boil at the statement” behind every success vile man stands a good women”.

I believe it should read” behind every man stands the backbone of our Country ,a women, a wife and a mother who has sacrificed all to survive and be given much more credit ”.

Women , mom, mother’s has been the backbone of all our lives.

They have survived hell on earth just to be strong and counted as equals in their own times.

We all would not be here today if it were not for the mom’s or mother’s that fought wars and tended mankind .

In documenting History I wonder how it could have all accomplished.

Looking deeply I can see they survived England and came to the New World and walked with a strength many could not have possessed.

Mankind would not have survived without the strength and the will of mother’s and their insight to raise their children with loving hearts and compassion the world over.

I do believe that no women ever stood behind a man but was God’s messenger for all mankind to have survived all the cruelties that beget centuries past and even today show compassion ,strength and abilities to make a better world yet for all their children to come as they have done so with courage in centuries past.

My belief in closing is we will one day have a Women President and yes, it will be a mom, mother, and that will have the strength and compassion needed to save the human race as she has always done in the past.

“Mother’s Day “ is an Honor to many women and today in Washington DC in the United States where a Museum being built by Donations for a Historical Women’s Museum that shows the bravery and strength that Honor’s our women , mom’s and mother’s finally for their roles in survival and compassion of our fellow men .

Yes compassion for our men as women have been the backbone and their strength the world over.

My hats off to XoXo Publishing™ a div of Ninni Group Inc. for seeing the insight into “Mother’s”,” mom’s. for their Anthology “Tea For Mom and Me” which has shown a Celebration to these women and also shows the compassion for Charity and a worthwhile help to Cancer and Life .

There is no greater medicine on earth than Love and Compassion and that is what

XoXo Publishing™ a div of Ninni Group Inc has created and possesses in the Anthology “Tea For Mom and Me”.

I so hope many will purchase their copy of this amazing Anthology to Celebrate Mom and to help so many others.

Melanie Marie Shifflett Ridner

One Book.  One Person.  A World of Difference. 
Tea For Mom & Me: A Mother's Day Anthology

http://www.xoxoxpublishing.com

THE IMPORTANCE OF PUTTING YOUR CHILDREN AHEAD OF YOUR OWN AGENDA

We have a divorce rate in our society of over 50%. That means that there are homes in which children either live with only one of their biological parents and or a stepparent. Sometimes these environments can be unhealthy or even toxic for those children if either or both parents are engaged in psychological warfare with one another, whereby those children become collateral damage. Children in such situations find themselves unwilling and defenseless participants in a war that they have nothing to do with. Bitter or feuding former spouses often use their children as pawns as a means to hurt one another without ever considering the ramifications of such actions.

Children of divorced parents should NEVER be expected to choose one parent over the other when they are made up of and personally identify with both parents. Ex spouses who make disparaging remarks about one another fail to realize that every time they verbally attack the other parent, they are indeed attacking their child as well. A young child who doesn't have the maturity to voice their opposition to such remarks might remain silent for years, but eventually they grow up and develop a mind of their own and find their voice. By the time that happens they have usually learned to tune out EVERYTHING that a bitter parent says and decided that their parent has absolutely no credibility whatsoever.

Just because a divorced parent might see themselves as a victim doesn't mean that you can convince your child to see you in that capacity. No child wants to be given a guilt trip for not feeling the same way that a disgruntled parent feels about the other parent. To these children you become an energy vampire that drains the life from them and they will learn to simply avoid you at all costs... They almost never see things from your jaded perspective; they just resent the attempt to turn them against the other parent.

Teach your children that their hearts are like expandable balloons with an endless capacity for love. Why would you deny your child the opportunity to have a good relationship with someone who only wants to give their time and love to your child? It is selfish and immature to try to poison your child's mind against a stepparent because you are insecure. Think of how respected you might be if you could step outside of your own hatred and anger associated with a divorce, regardless of the events that led to it, and put your child's needs first. Can you honestly say that you want a person who will potentially spend a significant amount of time with your child when they are away from you to feel negatively toward them because your child won't open their heart to a stepparent without the fear of retribution from you?

Divorce is hard enough on children without brining in adult garbage to the equation. Children deserve the ability to grow up in a non hostile environment where their parents are people that they can trust and rely on. Manipulation of a child is a sin for which there is no absolution.

Twitter Moms: The Influential Moms Network

THE VALUE OF BEING A GOOD LISTENER

We've all heard the old cliche that people love to talk about themselves and most of the time it is the truth.  How many of us know people who are actually good listeners?  For me there is nothing more frustrating than to try to have a conversation with someone who asks me a question and then moves on to another topic before I've even had a chance to answer!  Ask yourself this question... When someone is talking to you are you truly engaged in what they are saying or are you already thinking about what YOU want to say next and actually just pretending to listen.  Do you give the other person eye contact or are you distracted?  If you answered yes to either one then you might not be a very good listener.

The good news is that it's never too late to learn how to be a better communicator.  The problem most often is that we are usually distracted by the many other things going on either around us or in our heads.  We are so used to having to "multi task" to get through the day that we often multi task through our conversations and relationships suffer in the process.  If someone wants to have a conversation with you and you don't have the time to give them your full attention, give them the courtesy of letting them know that and offer to postpone the conversation until you can actually focus on the conversation.  Realize that you aren't doing anyone any favors by pretending to be engaged in a conversation.

Remember also that you are a living example to your children every day.  The way you interact with them is the way they will interact with the world.  Teach them how to be good communicators through your example with them.  If you are the one who is always talking then chances are you actually absorb very little information.  There is much more to be learned by listening in almost every circumstance.  The art of listening is also a good character trait.  It demonstrates self restraint, kindness, generosity and compassion.  By observation these are traits which are lacking in society today.  If everyone took the time to slow down and consider someone else we would greatly improve the quality of our OWN lives in the process simply by default...

"It is better to be silent and be thought ignorant than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

TEACHING OUR CHILDREN THE IMPORTANCE OF "REAL" COMMUNICATION

Recently after a movie my husband and I witnessed something beyond bizarre in the lobby.  We were "trying" to walk either behind, around or past a group of young teenage girls who were so busy texting that they were oblivious to the fact that they were walking in circles and actually going nowhere.  The most disturbing part of this phenomenon was that they were texting each other!!!  We didn't realize the absurdity of the situation until one girl said to another girl within a foot of her, "Hey, like what is your answer???  I just texted you and you didn't like text me back!!!"  What neither of them realized was that they could have actually had a genuine conversation in less time.  My husband and I just looked at one another trying to grasp the depth of insanity that we were witnessing.  We both concluded that it was indeed an epidemic.

If these young people don't learn how to properly communicate with one another before adulthood then how are they expected to attain these skills?  I have noticed an alarming trend in my household whereby it is becoming increasingly difficult to achieve eye contact when speaking to my teenage daughter.  Her first reaction is to look down at approximately the place she would be holding her cell phone to text.  This has led to some stricter guidelines in our home regarding technology.  For example, whether we are eating in the dining room or dining out, there are no cell phones allowed, nor do we answer the house phone during dinner.  There are no cell phones allowed in what I consider "common areas" such as the family room, game room or kitchen, etc...  The are required to shut down all technology at 9:00 pm, including TV, computers, cell phones and ipods.  Although the kindle is making literature and the written word accessible via our PC, I still prefer to hold an old fashioned book with real paper in my hands.  I am encouraging my children to do the same on a regular basis.  A book is far easier to hold your attention without the temptation of "clicking" to something else within a few seconds.

I have serious concerns about the lack of civility in our society that I believe is in part related to impersonal nature of "techno" or "cyber" communication.  We often put very little thought into an email or a text message whereas if you are having a telephone conversation you are at least connected in a more personal sense and you are aware of your tone, manner and presentation, etc.  People seldom make eye contact with other people, let alone smile at one another.  How often do you see someone hold the door for another person or even worse fail to say "thank you" when someone actually does?

In this cyber age of living something has gotten lost along the way.  I miss real cards with stamps and addresses on them; an e-card is just not the same.  I would prefer a thank you note as opposed to an email.  I believe that there is a balance between all things and that our youth are missing out on it.  We have to teach them how to have real dialogue with their peers and authority figures so that they can actually have meaningful relationships with people in terms of something other than acronyms.  Take the time to actually "talk" with your children and teach them the importance of civility and common courtesy as we shape what inevitable becomes our own future.